When Self Care Isn’t Enough

For me, parenthood has been like this long never ending journey to try to figure things out. Whether it is figuring out how to feed my baby, get the kiddo to sleep or how to manange two; I always felt a step behind or rather miles. But when I had two little ones, I knew I couldn’t keep going at the rate I was going. I knew I needed something to change. Life had become stressful and was leaving me with very little time for myself.

If you know me, then you probably have heard all about my journey to making self care an important part of my life. If you know me professionally, then you probably have heard me encourage you to make self care an important part of your life too. When I say self care I am not talking about girls nights, date nights or pedicures. I am talking about boundaries, physical activity, silence and eating healthy. But what if that isn’t enough? What if you already do those things and still feel stressed, angry or resentful? Or maybe you don’t exactly feel that way, but are trying to just figure out who you are as a mother, wife, partner, employee or friend? Wondering can there be more to this motherhood thing?

Several years ago, I asked myself those same questions. I just couldn’t figure out what I wanted life to look like now that it was nothing like what I expected. So, I started on my own journey to figure out not just this mother thing, but figure out who I was now. It isn’t that anything was particularly bad, it is just I knew I wanted something different. Since then, I have learned that I always need a place to process what life is looking like for me. Whatever season I am in, I need to talk it through. Sometimes we just have to find that place. A place to ask the questions: what do I want, how do I move forward, and how do I want life to look?

When self care wasn’t enough, I read The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Suppose to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Your Guide to a Wholehearted Life by Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW. I often recommend this book to people. It is a great way to begin to think about questions such as ‘how can I be more compassionate and less resentful’ or ‘how do I really stop comparing myself to others’? Questions like ‘How do I become authentic?’ or ‘Can I believe I am just enough as I am’? I mean, doesn’t that just sounds great? I love reading but what I love even more is talking about the books with others. That is how we change. We process what we have learned and apply it to our own journey. So, if you are feeling like you need more than self care or can’t even figure out self care, start with this book.

In my group Exploring and Embracing Motherhood, we will be reading the gifts of imperfection over a 6 week period beginning October 7, 2018. We will meet every other Sunday afternoon. This will give you time to read, journal and process. There is limited space, so please reserve yours today. Please note, this is a group for moms and a space to focus on yourself, so please leave the kiddos home.

2018 Dates
10/7, 10/21, 11/4, 11/18, 12/2, 12/16

Location 945 E. Henrietta Road Suite 7A
Cost: $15 a group
Time: 3pm-4:15pm

You can purchase the book here or at most local book shops

If you would like to pay week by week please contact me to reserve your spot.  Space is limited.  If less than the minimum requirement is reserved, then this group will be canceled and you will receive a refund.

You can purchase the book here or at most local book shops

Tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/exploring-and-embracing-motherhood-tickets-50302579369

About Jessica Fowler, LCSW

Jessica Fowler is a Licensed Clinical Social Worke in Rochester, NY. She works with families tranistioning to parenthood, specifically perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. In addition she works with those struggling with addiction or co-depedency.

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